I Was a Teen Mom, and I Just Had a Baby at Age 44
TODAY's ain Hoda Kotb is a new mom at age 52!
Motherhood often does feel like a blessing — except when stomach viruses or potty training or cranky teenagers are involved. But does new motherhood over the age of 40 or l look different than it does in a woman's 20s? Yes, say the women who have lived it. Here are half dozen things that women who had children for the first time later on in life say they wish they had known before they began their thou adventures in childrearing:
1. Believe information technology or not, information technology will make you feel young.
Despite the sleep impecuniousness, the constant worrying, and the creaky knee issues, yes, miraculously, becoming a parent in your 40s can make you experience younger than you are. "I am always around younger women with kids my child'south age, and they remind me how to have fun and see life through a dissimilar lens," said Jena McWha, 42, of Pennington, New Jersey, mom to Liam, 5, and Callum, one.
On the other hand, feeling younger isn't always a proficient thing. Michele Neuendorf, 43, of Chicago, Illinois, said that having Thomas, three, and Cecelia, 1, has fabricated her experience younger as well... as in, similar an adolescent in the throes of puberty. "I did not expect to feel like a hormonal heart schooler again," she told TODAY Parents. "This started in pregnancy with the back-acne, and then when I brought the baby home and cried non-stop at the drop of the lid? I had thought those days were behind me."
2. ...That is, until it makes you experience one-time.
At the young age of forty, women aren't accustomed to being called "geriatric" — that is, unless they try to accept a baby. It might be the commencement time in life a adult female doesn't want to be known as "advanced."
"I expected to have a hard fourth dimension getting pregnant and I didn't. I was so relieved," said Neuendorf. "So I really didn't await to leave my beginning doc date post-pregnancy crying. The md went on and on nigh the risk of nascency defects at my age and the warnings about all the risks to my own wellness. I likewise didn't wait to encounter 'geriatric pregnancy' and 'advanced maternal age' all over my summary of visit papers each visit."
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Moms in their 40s too face the occupational risk of being mistaken for their children's grandmothers. "Information technology was disconcerting the outset couple of times that I was asked whether they were my children or my grandchildren," said Margery Mott, at present 60, of Hopewell, New Jersey, and mom to Abigail, eighteen, and twins Susie and Alex, 16. She's (begrudgingly) used to it now, she said.
And you can't really blame people when they are a little confused. "I'll be the only 64-yr-old at back to school night," bemoaned author Anna Whiston Donaldson, who was surprised past infant Andrew at the historic period of 46 before this twelvemonth. "I remember about the fact that when my daughter starts her menses, I will have been in menopause for ten years," said Jennifer Wharton, 49, of Los Angeles, California.
3. You'll be the beneficiary of all your friends' difficult-earned wisdom (and their awesome hand-me-downs).
Merely there are definite upsides to older motherhood. "Honestly, I think the best office of being an older mom is that so many of your friends have been through it relatively recently — equally opposed to my mom, who had been through it 40 years ago — that you get a wealth of actually, really, really good communication," said Neuendorf. "Oh, and hand-me-downs. You become actually good hand-me-downs."
And all that advice comes in handy when trying to understand some of the more annoying "blessings" that come up along with giving birth. Amy McConnell said that having 3 sisters who had lots of children came in handy when she had her own. "I only wish that they had warned me virtually the hair loss, the hair growth in mysterious places, and not being able to concur my bladder when I sneeze. When does that finish?" she said.
4. You lot'll appreciate your health.
Existence an older mother gives you a deeper appreciation for your body, equally well as a deeper desire to preserve information technology. Lori Karg, a mother of 4 in Wyckoff, New Jersey, said she wishes she would have known how important her health would become to her afterwards giving birth every bit an older mom. "I would accept been healthier during my pregnancies, knowing how difficult it was to get back in shape at this age. Likewise, I've got some articulation and dorsum issues, and getting upward is a little creakier these days! I feel like I am becoming more cognizant now considering I can't accept my health for granted, which will help me when I'm older."
And older mothers don't wish time away like they might if they had more of it. "I have found myself thinking near the future, and I remember that is the hardest function," said Kimberly Grimm of Maitland, Florida, who had her youngest daughter, Hailey, at forty. "I think most the whole 'Will I become to be a grandmother to her children?' question, and forth with that, the frantic need to remind myself to schedule all the appointments for my own check-ups, because I at present need to live forever for her."
5. People will enquire you very personal questions near your fertility (or infertility), and then they might not believe your answers, which is fun.
Never underestimate a stranger's willingness to ask you exactly how you made your baby, the over-40 moms said. Carla O'Connor, a female parent of three in New York City, said she didn't await how oft she would be asked if hers was a "natural" pregnancy, or how often she would field questions about how long it took her to conceive at an "advanced maternal age" or if she had used fertility treatments — from "both medical professionals and strangers in the Walgreens checkout," she told TODAY Parents.
It wasn't the nature of the questions themselves that bothered her, she explained. "I am a huge proponent of reproduction aid. It was the fact that considering I was on the older side of my procreation years, information technology was assumed that I could not get pregnant, every bit someone in one case put information technology, 'the old-fashioned manner,' or that women who are of a certain age are not able to excogitate without assistance. I found the incorrect assumption that I struggled to be more than of a knock on the value that is placed on women as they get older — as if, on our 35th birthdays, our ovaries shrivel upward and die."
And ofttimes, older moms reported that people didn't believe them when they said they had their babies "the usual fashion." "Even my OB said, 'How did THAT happen?!' And still seemed uncertain virtually whether to believe me," said Pamela Montgomery of Scarsdale, New York, who had her second daughter after a surprise pregnancy at 47.
half-dozen. You'll be a great parent. (Actually.)
All mothers worry; it comes with the chore. But if she had known then what she knows at present, "I would have not freaked out virtually having babies in my 40s," said Karg. "We spent so much time worrying. I have iv cute children who came at the fourth dimension God planned for me, although they may not have come every bit early in life as I would accept liked them. I met my husband later in life after a pretty full young adult like with friends, travel, and a career I loved equally a teacher, which has helped me equally a parent. And although one of my greatest fears was realized when I gave birth to a Down syndrome kid this year, I take realized that he is the greatest souvenir to my life and my family and that I had nothing to fear at all," she said.
Older moms do have the gift of life feel and perspective. "I do Not have the free energy that younger moms do to play with their kids, run around, play pretend," said Neuendorf. "On the good side, I think I'm more chill than I would have been equally a younger mom. Because I accept less free energy, I try not to sweat the less important stuff and focus on the stuff that matters — or the stuff that I really enjoy, similar baths and bedtime stories and weekend adventures."
And though parenting has its challenges no matter how young or old you are, it will all exist worth information technology. "I still ofttimes experience pulled in far too many directions, frequently saying, 'I used to be a really good attorney, but now I experience pretty mediocre at everything, including beingness a mom," said Nikki Edwards, 47, of Oklahoma City, Oklahoma, who had her son Sam only earlier her 40th birthday. Still, she said, "Parenting in my forties has truly been the most rewarding experience I've had."
This article was originally published on Sept. xxx, 2016 on TODAY.com, and updated on February. 21, 2017.
Source: https://www.today.com/parents/things-i-wish-i-had-known-about-having-baby-my-t103225
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